Ask a random bystander if he’s into online gambling and he might sniff that he doesn’t waste his money on games of chance. Ask him instead if he ever bought a refurbished piece of electronic equipment from an online retailer and he might say sure, from time to time. Well, newsflash, bystander, that’s online gambling.

Some online retailers will permit you to send back a refurb as easily as you would a new item, issuing you a magical RMA (return merchandise authorization, aka return material authorization). But just as often, you may find that your retailer’s policy is to replace your refurb rather than credit your original form of payment. A “with beans” correspondent recently tried to use a retailer’s online form to return a lousy refurbished phone and the knee-jerk response of the form was to spit back the response that an RMA could not be issued for the item. In so many words, the retailer’s was saying “Either keep your lousy phone or have us send you one that you now have reason to believe may suck just as much.”

Well, there’s a fiendishly simple way to get around that, and it comes down to three magic words: email or call the customer service department and say you understand the policy but that you see this as a customer satisfaction issue. Coolly dropping this phrase works almost every time, because linguistically and otherwise you’ve sidestepped the Draconian return policy and elevated your case to a realm that’s a bit more intangible. In the case of the bum phone, our correspondent sent an email with that phrase and within ten minutes got a response – by phone – from an apologetic rep who never once lectured him about the restrictive, stated return policy and graciously issued an RMA. That’s good news for you, very smart business for them.

Image source: Davide Vizzini via Wikimedia Commons

You feel like a hero carrying that bouquet of flowers down the street, don’t you, dude? How thoughtful everyone must think you are, including the bouquet’s recipient, until she wakes up the next morning to discover that you evidently didn’t buy these half-dead stems from the best of florists.

We’ve all been burned by flowers that die too fast, regardless of whether we’ve procured them from an expensive florist or the cheapo corner stall. And if you tend to frequent the latter, you likely aren’t getting comp packets of that powder that prolongs the life of fresh flowers. Well, if you want to be a hero for a bit longer, Lifehacker via myhomeideas.com zeroed in on a DIY powder mixture from the Brooklyn Botanical Garden that you can sprinkle into the flower vase: “mix 1 teaspoon sugar, 1 teaspoon bleach, and 2 tablespoons lemon or lime juice in a quart of warm water.”

If those fresh-cut flowers for your honey are perhaps a prelude to something more forever – a diamond in an engagement ring setting, say – withbeans has a bonus potion for you – a longtime jeweler recently shared his trade secret with us for making a diamond shine almost supernaturally: soak the little rock in a mixture with a teaspoon of bleach and a few spoonfuls of soap and water.

Longer living flowers, shiner diamond. Now, my friend, you’re a hero.

Image source: Wikimedia Commons

I have a company with more than 50 employees, but am considered a small business. We receive preferential treatment from state governments because we are under $16 Million in revenue – but still  have over 50 employees.

President Obama, along with the overwhelming majority of Representatives with a D after their names will put us out of business as soon as the taxes start. If you work for a company of over 50 people, be aware of this.

Hidden within the bill is a provision allowing the IRS to penalize companies who have at least 50 employees but do not provide health care insurance. The penalty is $2,000 per employee per year. Paying the penalty is surely much cheaper than paying for insurance, so I’m sure that is the better option. $100,000 per year will wipe out most small businesses of this size…

By looking at the state of the economy and the leading indicators (massive layoffs still happening), I believe you will see at least 10% of small businesses with at least 50 employees go under in the first year. At least they’ll have government-provided health insurance!

What does an economy with massive unemployment, a business hostile atmosphere with rapidly expanding government power look like? Has anyone been to Cuba, Venezuela or Russia lately?

Change is right.

The first American duel was at Plymouth Rock back in the 1620′s. Over the centuries, the duel has played an important role in the manly idiot’s view of personal disrespect. We are all bigger men than that – we you never know….

The modern day duel is probably the guy in the bar who asks you to step outside. Perhaps in other places in the world, there are still more gentlemanly ways to duel – methods with traditional.

David and Goliath’s fight with weapons of choice was probably the most well known duel of history. As you should know, Goliath fitted himself with over 100 pounds of weaponry and armor. David, the undersized boy, came at Goliath with a sling shot and some rocks. Well all know who won.

Duels have been fought with a variety of weapons throughout history. A few that I have heard about include muskets, swords, hot-air balloons, rocks and even billiard balls. It seems like the best thing to do is to figure out if both parties will be using the same weaponry. Since the challenged sets the terms of the duel, you may have the option.

If both parties will indeed be using the same weaponry, your decision will be how committed you are to your duel. Do you want to die or just be maimed? I’d prefer to be the one doing the killing or maiming – but it’s probably a 50/50 kind of deal here.

It is more respectful to stick with traditional tools – don’t use a Glock handgun or a machete – at least get some black powder muskets. After all, it could be your last purchase, so you should have a little class here. Obviously, if you think you will have the upper-hand with a bow and arrow, you will probably want to use that.

From the Art of Manliness: A duel had to be conducted calmly and coolly to be dignified, and the preliminaries could take weeks or months; a letter requesting an apology would be sent, more letters would be exchanged, and if peaceful resolution could not be reached, plans for the duel would commence.

It was tradition to do a duel properly and with procedure. Stepping outside and playing chicken with your cars are not the gentlemanly ways to duel. If you are serious about settling something, I recommend doing a test duel somewhere like a paint-ball course first – then go for the more serious duel weapons.